Pickle Marinated Crispy Chicken Schnitzel
with a caesar aioli !!!!
Hello and welcome to The Big Night In. We talk recipes, restaurants, and the occasional bit of drivel. If somehow you have slipped into my house and are still not subscribed, don’t worry, we can fix that:
This Letter Includes:
Strangers are using your parents Spotify
A recipe for a pickle schnitty
Another recipe coming to your inbox soon
Romy’s going to New York & London, get excited.
“The Spotify hacking? Small potatoes. The computer hacking? Big potatoes. It seems you’ve been hacked twice, by two different people. Kind of impressive actually.” Let’s latch on to the fact that I’m impressive. It’s my bartering chip for when people (my brother) tell me I’m dumb for downloading a Youtube-to-mp3 file.
When the guy from Auckland Geeks (real name, I’m not rude) shows up at your door and tells you you’re ‘really impressive’ for getting hacked twice, you’re not so sure how to feel. On the one hand, you've weaned out the competition, you’ve gotten yourself hacked on multiple fronts without swimming through the dark web. On the other, someone in Mexico (or Invercargill) has been watching your screen for months.
Waist-deep in a shitstorm of overcommitment*, I found out I had been hacked twice. Some creep, presumably in the bowels of Luton, has been playing with the lint in his naval and watching me google “nyt connections clues”. Thrilling day for everyone involved. I won’t bore you with more woe is me; how terrible that I had to call someone to save me from my incessant downloading of obscure soap operas from Hong Kong.
I can imagine your pity is dialed up high right now.
As mundane as Romy’s computer getting hacked feels, believe it or not, I think the situation taught her a few things. Here are those things:
Firstly, consider using a third-party password manager. I’m now using Bitwarden; it’s like a tech-savvy fanny pack. It has that thing you forgot you packed but ended up desperately needing. You can open it on any server and your phone. Just be so careful to write your master password down physically, and don’t touch type it. If you do, you may end up touch typing it wrong. Perfectly. Three times. Then instantly locking yourself out and causing your tech-guy to have an ethical meltdown (ask me about this in the comments because it did happen and it was mortifying).
Next, don’t download maybe-sketchy sh*t from the internet or any chrome extensions you don’t need.
Lastly, Spotify accounts you’re paying for are being sold on the dark web for $1. If you have a family Spotify account, hackers can see that you haven’t maxed out the number of ‘child’ accounts on it. So, they create a shadow account then sell that on the dark web. Usually, these people go unnoticed, but if you’re like me, they’ll break the rules and download a playlist called FXXKED UP and some gentle heavy metal onto your liked songs. Best to get whomever owns the parent account to change their password and set up two-factor authentication.
*Newsletter is abominably late and I’m genuinely so sorry (for me not you) because I adore writing and how gross that a thousand loads of laundry, work, and agreeing to perform with 6 days notice got in the way of that.
The one upside to getting hacked is the forced clean-up of your computer folders, and if you’re of the panicky variety (like myself) you’ll end up paying someone to do this. Like a clean home, a clean desktop is a great form of meditation. I’ve pledged to myself to keep it tidy, labelled, and organised. I feel much less scattered and super proud of my neat folders. Though, I have an earnest fear it will go the way of *Blockbuster and Theranos.
*Blockbuster does still have one store in Bend, Oregon, USA; there is hope yet.
If you’ve been following this newsletter since it’s humble beginnings (April), you’ll know we’ve been experimenting at HQ with how to format this mash of grammatically pained writing, lightly irrelevant journalism, and recipes. I’m sure a pattern/formula will emerge but for now I like writing with marginal unpredictability. I do think it stops me from inanely suggesting things for you to watch and/or read, when truthfully, most of the last month I’ve re-watched Brooklyn Nine Nine and an ungodly amount of Project Coconut Tok. Really, genuinely, not sorry to my anti-tik-tok audience for leaving that reference unexplained, I want you to do some link clicking and googling!
That said, I have loved the quick-fire news round so strap in for another installment.
There is a Connections Companion!! My fandom for puzzles has long been recorded so I noticed this the day it came out. And yes, all the rumours are true, I have cheated on connections, but only twice and I felt dirty both times. However, the connections companion has come along to insist it’s completely natural to look over the fence. You can grab a cheeky clue (I don’t do that anymore but I won’t judge if you do) OR, and here’s the best bit, find out how objectively hard the day’s connections is. So you couldn’t do todays connections, it’s okay, it was a 4.7/5 in difficulty. Stephen Hawking probably couldn’t do it either. The difficulty rating is great for fragile egos like ours.
An Instagram story taught me to freeze feta. Are you guilty of leaving your feta opened for way too long? Suddenly you have half a block of feta that smells kinda funky? Try Feta Freezing. A low-effort way to keep the feta-funk away. Freeze your feta before it goes bad (then grate it on top of salads). Admittedly, I haven’t tried this yet, but how smart. I feel so giddy knowing I won’t have to waste feta anymore - It’s like that time I learned to freeze nectarines and grate it on to my ice-cream or make straight up grated-granita.
Cleo Abrams, an ex-Vox journalist, did a video on egg freezing. She documented her own egg freezing process and left very few questions unanswered. Highly recommend watching the video because, as user @Jacobbunt said “I am a mid 20s single guy and yet this was one of the more fascinating YouTube videos I’ve ever seen.” Getting people to watch 21 minutes on egg freezing can be a hard sell but I’m out here doing my best. Just imagine how cool it’ll be when you’re at the family dinner and you can explain why we don’t yet have cryosleep for eggs.
Speaking of feeling smart at the dinner table, Fast Company have got you covered. A great online space that packages all the newest, world-changing innovations neatly for you to smugly bring up in conversation. In 10 minutes I learned that AI is being used to help chart flight paths that are better for the environment. Boss/Queen Natasha Franck started a company in 2017 called EON that creates a digital ‘twin’ of clothing to help companies track it through it’s life cycle. Lastly, a 28-year-old woman started her own VC firm that has no employees and $99 million under management (this one made me feel bad about myself so maybe skip it).
Biggest news of all - I’m flying to New York on Thursday to meet up with a friend and we are hitting the ground running. Shoes on, phones out, restaurants booked. I’m ready to leave phat tips for good food and some negronis. Expect some exclusive NYC/London food reviews as well as the best bookstores my wholesome little heart can find.
The Recipe
I wrestle with what recipes to put out into the world; I never know if i’m sitting too inside the box. I always come back to asking myself what I want to eat and what I wish I had a reliable recipe for. A chicken schnitty is simple but I always want a good one and I always end up shoving pickles on it. Hence ^.
With a schnitzel I want it to be a fast affair but chicken breast can often be unforgiving. So, a quick marinade (the longer the better but 30 minutes will still tenderize it) is a great option to ensure less chance of leather-boot chicken. For the record, my boyfriend is pickle-neutral, more often than not he is pickle-meh. He’d rather they not be on his burger and definitely not in his sandwich; I know…I can’t believe we’re still together either. For reference, my fridge must have two types of pickles in it at all times. TL;DR he loved this schnitzel. Do with that what you will.
The caesar aioli is just a slightly thicker caesar dressing and it’s perfect. I’m obsessed. I’m all the good things you can be for a sauce. It’s not really an aioli but I needed to give it a name so let’s say aioli and move on. If you are afraid of anchovies, get over it. You won’t know they’re in there okay? Promise xx
Pickle-Marinated Chicken Schnitzel
2 chicken breasts, sliced horizontally
1/4 cup pickle juice (I like dill pickles but take your pick)
1/2 cup greek yoghurt
1 egg
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
1/4 cup canola oil, plus more as needed
1 cup of pickles for serving
salt & pepper
Caesar Aioli (ish)
3-6 anchovy filets (to taste)
1 large yolk
1 large lemon, zest & juice
1-2 cloves of garlic, grated
1 tablespoon dijon mustard
1 teaspoon of worcestershire sauce (if not using anchovies)
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2-2/3 cup canola oil
1/4 cup of parmesan (+ more to taste)
1/4 chopped parsley
Salt & freshly ground black pepper
Place a sliced chicken breast in between two pieces of baking paper. Using the bottom of a small, heavy skillet, gently pound the chicken breast until it is as thin as you can get it about a 1/4 cm thick. Repeat with all of the pieces of chicken.
In a bowl, ziploc bag, or shallow dish, whisk the pickle juice, greek yoghurt, and egg together. Add a good pinch of salt and pepper each. Nestle the thin chicken cutlets in the marinade. If using a ziploc, seal the bag. If using a bowl or dish, cover tightly in plastic wrap. Put the chicken in the fridge for at least 30 minutes but can you marinate it for up to 12 hours.
Meanwhile, make the caesar aioli. Start by chopping the anchovies and smushing them with the back of your knife until they are paste-like. Add them to a medium-large mixing bowl. Add in the egg yolk, lemon juice, grated garlic, and mustard, then whisk to combine.
Place the bowl on a folded tea towel to help it stay stable. Slowly stream in the oils as you whisk the mixture. The mixture will start to thicken and become lighter in colour. Once it is has reached your desired sauce consistency, add in the lemon zest, parmesan, and parsley. Season with salt and pepper to taste. You may prefer a thicker sauce (more aioli less dressing) which means you’ll need more oil. So, go slow as you add in the oil. Give the sauce a taste and adjust the flavour to preference. Set aside while you cook the chicken.
Remove the chicken from the marinade, letting any excess drip off. Then transfer one cutlet at a time into the breadcrumbs. Shake the breadcrumbs over the chicken, using your hands to press them in, making sure to fully coat the chicken. Repeat with all pieces of chicken.
Heat the canola oil for the chicken in a heavy-bottomed skillet over a medium-high heat. Once oil is shimmering, place two pieces of chicken in the skillet. Lay them gently in to avoid oil splatter. Once golden brown (about 3 mins) turn the chicken over and cook on the other side (2-3 mins). Remove and place on a kitchen towel lined plate. Season immediately with salt. Repeat the frying process with the rest of the chicken.
Serve the chicken with the aioli, a small handful of pickles, and a light salad if you have the energy.
Notes
This chicken goes well with a fresh, acidic, crunchy salad i.e. rocket & apple or fennel & orange (recipe coming to a mid-week substack near you).
Slicing a chicken breast horizontally should give you 4 pieces of chicken. Use the top of your hand to help press down the top of the breast. This will help you get even cutlets as you slice as you will have more control over the cut.
When putting anything into a lot of oil, don’t drop it in. Don’t be scared of it! That’s how you get oil splatter. It feels contrary, but you want to gently lay something in the oil. Your fingers will feel close to the oil but it is actually the safest way to fry.
Thank you for reading, see you for our next night in!
