A Crispy Maple Harissa Cornbread
ps. it's my birthday & I'll dress as a sexy scarecrow if I want to
Hello and welcome to The Big Night In. We talk recipes, restaurants, and the occasional bit of drivel. If somehow you have slipped into my house and are still not subscribed, don’t worry, we can fix that:
Today’s Letter Includes:
a recipe for a crispy cornbread
things i did on my birthday
ugly underwear
a very scary scarecrow
a petition to bring back the word ‘brouhaha’
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There are no rules for getting older; strong suggestions, but no rules. I turned 27 last weekend and I ate a lot, cooked eggy pancakes (I don’t like eggy pancakes, this was a mistake), dressed as a sexy scarecrow (picture below to keep you reading), made my own buttermilk birthday cake with split buttercream, and cried a bit (not over the buttercream).
I stared down the barrel of my late twenties and I didn’t keel over! I didn’t vow to run a marathon, commit to a hike in South America, or create a new savings plan. It is mere coincidence that I booked an internal pelvic ultrasound and started serious egg-freezing talks.* So, I thought it would be fun to make today's letter a birthday edition (crispy cornbread is a great thing to make for a birthday).
*Did you know freezing embryos is more reliable than freezing eggs? I think it’s dangerous territory to (excuse the pun) put all your eggs in one blokes basket. At 34? Probably fine. In your twenties? Potentially risky.
Things I did for my birthday
A low-key dinner with a sharing-style set menu. If you are worried about asking people to celebrate you/pay for their dinner, give them an out. I messaged my friends saying I wanted to book a dinner, the set menu was 70pp, I’d love for you to come but absolutely no pressure to, and to please let me know by the end of the week. Everyone emphatically said yes and no one mentioned the money.
Shared the weekend. This was by accident but I highly recommend orchestrating a joint birthday. When all the birthday pressure is on you, it can feel overwhelming. A joint dinner, a joint party, a joint activity, a joint getaway - whatever, do two birthdays together. I’m a twin, and have always begrudged ‘sharing my birthday’, but now it just feels like people have more reason to celebrate. Twice the birthday, twice the excitement, twice the commitment (from others), half the stress.
Went to a costume party. Not my costume party. So I got to show up when I wanted and leave when I wanted. If someone is having a party on your birthday weekend, maybe go, maybe don’t go, either way, you’re not cleaning up. I dressed up like a sexy scarecrow because life is too short to not look hot. Everyone at the party was either 30 or pushing 30 and we still played Never Have I Ever; there are no rules! I am not much of a party goer and do prefer an Ina-Garten-esque dinner party, but when in Rome.
Cried. I don’t always come through with the perfect birthday weekend. A cocktail of lots of stimuli, little rest, and menstrual hormones spewed out of me on the Sunday. We’ll put this one in the ‘things to work on for next year’ pile.
After a stimulating weekend the best thing I did for myself was buy a 4-pack of full-cover brief underwear. The comfort of being freshly showered, in new ugly underwear, wearing fuzzy socks, and watching something inane but heartwarming is the best end to a busy birthday. If you’re a gent reading this newsletter (hi, I love having you here!) the equivalent is probably sitting with a cold beer, your feet up, watching the wedding crashers (or a WWII doco) with the lights off. Not to be reductive, but I’m right aren’t I?
As ever, here is some good sofa chat for your next night in:
If you’ve never played the Wiki Game ‘five clicks to Hitler/Jesus’. You are in luck. If you, like me, will take any chance to turn down-time into a game, you need to start clicking through wikipedia. The game is simply travelling from one wikipedia page to another in the least amount of link-clicks. I like the version where one person picks a starting page (i.e. ‘The Humboldt Squid) and another person picks the finishing page (i.e. Jesus). The winner is the person who gets to Jesus in the least link clicks. Add a spicy twist and include time penalties if you need to up the ante. It’s fun and all you need is an internet connection.
Google’s ngram viewer is really interesting (to me). It’s essentially a function that lets you explore language usage trends. Type a word into google - I would try ‘brouhaha’ (it’s fun to say) - click ‘show more’, and you’ll see when the word was popular. Brouhaha took off in the 60s and we, as a collective society, just ran wild with the word until about 2005. It’s on a relatively steep decline now though so I’m petitioning to Bring Back Brouhaha.
It is not lost on me that I suggested you ‘go through wikipedia’ and ‘look up words on google’.
You should watch ‘My Lady Jane’ if you want a giggle but also want to learn something about tudor history (magic animals may prove a roadblock to your education though). It’s very silly but it’s a great fuzzy-sock and ugly underwear show. If nothing else gets you to watch this, Anna Chancellor’s commitment to the mummy who's best skills are ‘gamesmanship and fallatio’ should.
A New Zealand lawyer by the name of Dave pretended to hang himself then apologised by calling his critics c*nts. I’ll give you the low-down to save you precious time trying to understand this kerfuffle. A lawyer (male, white, 50-something) orchestrated a raffle for the Suicide Reduction Trust. They were/are raffling off tickets for a free house. They didn’t sell nearly enough tickets and now they have to work down some sizeable debts. Had the raffle gone well, our lawyer-man was expecting to collect a salary of about 250k, which he remarks, is ‘way less’ than what he currently earns. That feels only a little bit exploitative?
After the first failed attempt at raising money for the charity, our big lawyer-lad staged a fake suicide where he looked to have hung himself on a bridge over a busy motorway. Absolutely f*cked. All of this is in the name of doing good, which I don’t doubt but this methodology is abhorrent and 250k is bonkers. Currently, if you drive around the Auckland CBD, you will notice he’s doubled down with giant billboards that proclaim ‘Suicide Guy Has Big Rant on Youtube’.
The Recipe
A Crispy Maple Harissa Cornbread
Even bad cornbread is good, but good cornbread is life-changing. I think everyone has their cornbread preferences so, to no one’s surprise, this will not hit every quota. Food is a deeply personal thing, which is something I am learning to accept. Aunty Donna may well like her mac and cheese uncomfortably buttery (live with it) and you omitting the panko breadcrumbs may set off an entire side of the family. Bask in the expletives and keep doing you boo.
Cornbread can be dense and crumbly - I’ll still eat dense and crumbly, but I’ve long thought we can do better. If you haven’t heard, hot girls whip their egg whites before folding them into their cornbread. Whipped egg whites give certain baked-goods a lighter, more lifted texture, which makes this a less-crumbly cornbread. The addition of maple syrup is hardly groundbreaking but don’t skip it. It will give your cornbread a crunchy, sweet crust on top. Cornbread-purists are likely to come for me but I own a sturdy baseball bat, so I’m prepared, because YES, this is probably a bit too cake-like for some people. That’s so fine. I accept that I’m not bringing this to thanksgiving. A slice of this cornbread is not a great vehicle for mopping up gravy - it’s fluffy, that’s its thing. So maybe it’s not cornbread but I’m using the name for it’s marketability okay? This recipe still gives you those crunchy edges and that sweet/salty thing people love, but there’s harissa in there (why??? i don’t really know, but it’s delicious so why not), and cheese (which i’m fine with you omitting).
250g (1/2 cup) Butter
1 tablespoon Harissa Spice Mix
52g (1/4 cup) Brown sugar
1 tablespoon Kosher Salt
150g (1 cup) Cornmeal
120g (1 cup) Plain flour
1 teaspoon Baking powder
1/2 teaspoon Baking Soda
2 Eggs, whites and yolks separated
236g (1 cup) Buttermilk
75g (3/4 cup) Sharp Cheddar (or cheese of your choice), grated
1 jalapeno thinly sliced
(optional) 1/4 cup of grated parmesan for topping, plus extra for serving
Preheat the oven to 210c (410f) fan bake.
Melt the butter over a medium heat until just foamy then add the harissa and brown sugar until bubbly and the sugar has dissolved (about 5 minutes). Set aside to cool while preparing the rest of the ingredients.
Whisk the salt, cornmeal, flour, baking powder, and baking soda together and set aside. Then whip the egg whites until soft peaks form and set aside.
Whisk the egg yolks into the cooled butter mixture then alternate folding in the dry ingredients and buttermilk. Start by folding a third of the dry ingredients in followed by a third of the buttermilk.
Fold the grated cheddar into the mixture then fold the egg whites in to the mixture until just combined - it’s okay if there are a few bits of egg white not combined, you don’t want to risk knocking the air out of them.
Pour the mixture into a prepared loaf pan (I use a 21cm x 7cm) or cast-iron pan. Sprinkle over the parmesan then place the pan in the oven and immediately turn the oven down to 180c (350f). Bake for 30 - 40 minutes or until a knife comes out clean. Turn the oven to grill.
Pour the maple syrup over the top of the cornbread then place it back in the oven for 5 minutes or until the top is deeply golden and bubbly.
Let cool for at least 15 minutes then slice and serve with a schmear of butter and a generous dusting of parmesan.
Notes
If a recipe calls for a ‘prepared pan’ it’s usually asking you to grease your pan or line it with baking paper. If not specified, the recipe is probably giving you free-reign as you know how your pans operate. For example, my rusty square pan needs baking paper every time, but my USA loaf pan is higher quality and only requires a gentle spray of oil.
You have permission to not add the cheddar, but please add the parmesan.
You also have permission to not separate the eggs (even though hot girls whip their egg whites). Everyone has different time-constraints and levels of patience. The result will be a less-fluffy cornbread, but as established, people love that too.
Thank you for reading, see you for our next night in!